Why cry over a makeover shoot?
Who hasn’t had the chore, sorry I meant FUN, of looking at the images from a friend’s makeover photo shoot and having to smile and make believe that you’re impressed with the results of £500+ spent on for the exact same mediocre images you looked at last month from a completely different friend. Oh, and sepia! Get some sepia in there to give it the moody look. (Please, so 1990’s!).
Having heard countless stories explaining the less than ideal outcome after having one of those well-known #makeover shoots, we decided to tell one of the stories. Have a read, then compare to EME. [Mic drop! Oh no, not yet.]
Well they all start by being very tempting. £50 for a 90 minute photo shoot! Heck, we’ve even heard £15. Sometimes free. Too good to be true? Err, yeah! Come on. What did you expect? Really!
Anyway, payment made, appointment booked, and 2 or maybe even 3 outfits from your fave’s and you’re all set to create that wow factor!
Hold on. Do you know how long it can take to pick ONE outfit for a good night out, that might be thoroughly forgotten by the second bottle of Prosecco? THREE outfits that you’re going to be immortalised in. Best select what you’re wearing before you book the shoot!
Moving on. Shoot day. Nails done. Hair done. Bikini line done, (well you never know do you). You’re there. You’re early. You’re a little flustered. 3 outfits means 3 pairs of shoes. Zumba twice a week doesn’t train you to carry an awkward 20kgs from the tube station.
You’re welcomed with a smile. The place looks lovely. All very professional and lots of other nervous ladies waiting to be immortalised into pin up perfection. Oooh, lots of lights! Why is she smiling so much? Nice teeth though.
Is that wine? A bit early in the day for a “tipple”, but what the hell. Something to calm the nerves while the makeup goes on. And go on it does. Is this a trowel? Waking up at 7am proved pointless as you get neutralised and rebranded. Some studios don’t do testing, so that’s an extra glass of wine for the journey home. But in this case, you’re all good and looking lovely. A bit like you did when you arrived, just with neater hair, no beads of sweat and a ton of make up.
Now, look down and reassure yourself that it’s a floor you’re standing on and not a conveyor belt, because you’ll be led into the studio before you can say, “I think I need to pee!” And that 2nd glass will have to go unfinished, because this is your moment.
There’s some really skilled photographers out there, who’ll do a great job of relaxing you and making you feel the part. There’s a few that aren’t, but you’re blessed today. This guy is charming, complimentary and cute! He smiles a lot too. You’re not nervous, mostly. He knows what he’s doing. His direction is good. You recognise the poses you’re doing from a cover of OK Magazine. You have a Kardashian moment. Luckily it’s short-lived. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. Quick! Outfit change. No, your makeup’s fine. No time for fixes. No, those shoes are fine. Okay, be quick. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. Right, that’s your lot. What? That was only 30 minutes, are we really done? Should I have gone for #boudoir?
You did great! Really. There’s more wine for you! Go get dressed, Posh Spice is up next.
No need to feel deflated. You got loads of shots. Ooh the lights. The mood. Vogue? Cosmo? Hello? Readers’ Wives? Moving on. You still look good, feel good, and the wine tastes good. And just in time for the return to footwear A, in comes the smiler. She’s beaming now! And look, she’s got the photographs. Already! But don’t worry, these are just for you to see now, they will be touched up slightly to get the BEST possible image. Hey. No more rushing. Now there’s time, because the sales pitch needs time. “Ooh, I love this one of you. You definitely should order this one. Oh, this one’s good too. I’d get both. More wine?”
You’re out! Did you have to fight your way out with the complimentary photos they offered, (in a pathetic hardback envelope), or were you sold on the image of you lying on the chair with your hands under your chin, plus a load of others? Read the paperwork. If you spent less than £500, you’re a fighter! If you’ve taken out finance to spread the payments over the next forty years, look on the bright side. There’s a pair of shoes in your bag that nobody’s seen.
Were you asked for a list of friends’ numbers? Did you sell them out? When do you get your prints? Where will you hang them? No, the prints! Stay positive. Chances are you did look lovely, and your loved ones will happily share the moments of cooing at how well you managed to capture the essence of YOU in that pic, and that one, and definitely that one.
…Can I introduce you to EME now? The Extreme Modelling Experience! There is nothing to compare. For one, you’ll be treated to a 6 hour creative makeover and #modelling experience. Oh, and there’s lunch! Ohhhhh! And a private exhibition! BOOM!!! [Mic. Drop!]
Image credits: K Anthony Photography
